Oysters are Good Article 3

Oysters are one of my favorite foods, they are tasty, cleanses the palette (whatever that means), are a natural aphrodisiac, but are usually really expensive at restaurants. It's one of the only foods you really can't make at home. I guess you can go to Whole Foods, buy a dozen and shuck them yourself, but that sounds painful. Literally painful. My friend Phil tried that and almost cut off his three fingers. Solution: Fishtail, Lure and John Dory Oyster Bar. Go to their respective menus on menupages.com and you'll see the prices ranging from $3.00 to a staggering $4.00 for an oyster off the coast of Thailand. Yeah, no thanks.

John Dory, down on 29th and Broadway in the Ace Hotel, you would think no way you're getting into this place. Ace Hotel is very cool, yes, if I am writing this blog December 2009 and I'm eating pigs feet at the Breslin with Amy Sexy 51. BUT the New York Times gave John Dory an amazing review so I decided to check it out. (Side note: I am obsessed with the New York Times. I don't know why. I can't pronounce or understand half the words but for some reason, if Sam Sifton told me to jump off the 59th Street bridge I think I would. Also, I love the New York/Region section. Again I don't know why but I can't get enough of it. I actually kind of compare it to facebook. I'm generally curious about what's going on but could really give two shits. It's human nature.) Anyway, I go to John Dory Oyster Bar a few weeks ago on a Monday at 5pm. For a place getting such great review and in such a "popular" setting, I am very very surprised they have a happy hour, but they do! 5-7pm Monday through Friday, at the bar only, half a dozen oysters from either coast (can't mix and match) and either a can of Porkslap beer or a glass of Champagne for 15 bucks. Of course I order the Champagne. Not a bad deal at all. So look at me, I'm an unemployed asshole drinking Champagne and sucking down oysters at 5pm on a Monday.  No way I'm getting down there to hit up this special if I'm working. That data entry doesn't input itself.

Also, I checked Whole Foods, and oysters averaging out at 2 bucks an oyster with the risk of losing a hand; you do the math, I'm retired!!