Yoga

Since I have more time on my hands now that I took the plunge into retirement, I have decided to be more open minded and try new things that I would never think of doing before. One of those things is yoga. Getting harassed by my sister to join her for an early morning yoga class whenever I'm home in DC sounds more painful than bar hopping the Lower East Side on a Saturday night. But literally across the street from my apartment is a Lululemon store, which specializes in yoga gear (aka expensive clothes targeted to the Soul Cycle set). They have this big cool looking chalkboard right inside the store which advertises local events in the community. One of their big advertising tools is free yoga classes every Sunday at 10am in the store. I guess they think after the class, when the store opens, people will hang around and buy their stuff. A marketing sucker I am not, but decided to check out the class. People might be reading this and thinking no way I can get up at 9:55 am on a Sunday. Actually its the complete opposite. The weekend mornings are the two days I actually wake up at a normal time because who goes out in New York on the weekends?

So a few Sundays ago, I set my alarm for 9:55 am and sleep walk across the street. I'm wearing my KD3 shoes, John Wall jersey-t , cutoff sweats and a bright red bandanna. I look ridiculous, especially for yoga. Maybe I do need some Lululemon threads. Anyways, I get there 3 mins late (I wish it was a little closer, kind of a pain in the ass to have to cross the street) and I immediately get stares from the Soul Cycle-esq crowd. Not because I am a few minutes late but because I trip over one of the damn yoga mats. Right away I knew this wasn't a good idea. I get the last spot on the floor right smack in the middle under the women's bra section. Like I'm gonna be able to concentrate now. The whole idea of yoga is interesting to me, but this instructor was absolutely crazy. She had me try this pose I have no idea how to pronounce, but lets just say my arms are definitely not strong enough to support my whole body. This yoga shit is hard! After the hour slowly ticked by, I wanted to get the hell outta there. This is not for me. I left thinking maybe I should just stick to deals around the city which involve late night imbibing preferably on the weeknights because, "Hey, I'm retired at 28!"