Lavo Saga

I know some people might be getting sick of all the Lavo stories but you can deal with it! I have a good one to share will y'all.  A few Thursdays ago, Eric and I went to this party at the Calvin Klein store on Madison Avenue. Obviously I would go; free drinks, socializing with models (and by socializing I mean staring awkwardly) and most importantly its within crawling distance of Lavo. Sounds like a perfect night, boozin' and cruisin' at CK and then stumble over to Lavo to try to make asses out of ourselves. Around 7pm we head to the CK store in the pouring rain. It is like a torrential downpour. We throw down our fair share of vodka and pear juice (don't make fun they were free) and walk around the store laughing at how ridiculous these clothes look. But once the vodka starts to hit, we decide it would be funny to try on the clothes and walk around the store like we might seriously want to buy this stuff. Eric tries on a bark, yes you heard correctly, sports coat for around 3 grand and I try on an alligator sports coat for 5 grand. We are hysterically laughing trying not to spill our drinks on these absurd but extremely expensive jackets. Around 10pm we decide we've had enough and venture off to Lavo. Considering it was like a hurricane outside we thought our chances at Lavo would be good. This is when the story gets interesting...

Rain apparently doesn't scare the Lavo clientele. We get into the restaurant and its packed. Literally bumping with the help from Crystal the DJ. Yes, there is a DJ in the dining room. Will get to that in a second. I squeeze through the throngs of people and order me a vodka tonic and beer for Eric. I ask Eric if he has money and he gives me a confused face. I find out he hasn't opened his wallet in 11 days. We go into the dining room and I start bullshitting with DJ Crystal. She says that the dining room gets more wild and entertaining than the actual club downstairs. We start talking about different venues she DJs at and for some reason I guess she thought I was a DJ also. I told her no, I'm retired. She gave me a weird look but seemed to forget about it within seconds. She then asks me if I want to get into the DJ booth with her and spin a few tracks. With IPods and Macs dominating the DJ world, pressing a few clicks for a new song seems easy enough. I get in there with her supervision obviously and just pick out two songs for her to play; one Gaga and I think one Lil Wayne song. Very fun.

I look and see my drink is done and because Eric has too many cobwebs to open his wallet I get up to the bar again and order two more drinks. Right after I pay on my tab I get a tap on my shoulder. Its some random finance dude who I'm thinking just wants to get to the bar. I ignore him thinking he should just go back to Jersey, but then I get another tap and he says, "Excuse me, do you mind taking a picture of me with my boyz?" I kind of roll my eyes and take the damn picture with his blackberry. I checked the picture and my finger was completely blocking the flash. Kind of embarrassing so I told him I would take one more, which luckily turned out a lot better. He then turns to the bartender and shouts, "get this guy (me) and his buddy a round on me". I tell him its ok that I just got a drink but thanks anyways. He insists so I ordered two glasses of Cristal. Just kidding, but I would be lying if I said the thought didn't enter my mind. I order two vodka tonics and thank him again. Eric and I are now double fisting our drinks. I jokingly tell Eric I wish the guy tapped me 5 seconds earlier to get our second round. Trust me, I didn't need a third drink. Next thing I know Eric takes my drink and disappears. He comes back five minutes later without the drinks and my closed out bill with my credit card. He fucking returned the drinks!! Amazing! My bill only had the first round on them. It was like magic. I don't know what he said or did and frankly I don't want to know. All I know is that were young, stupid and trying to make it in New York, anyway we can. On my way home in the pouring rain I just couldn't stop smiling, "Hey, I'm Retired at Fucking 28"!