Put Me On The 15-Day DL

It's surprising with my weak immune system, fragile body and weaker bones that I have actually never broken a bone in my body. I get sick every other week and need a solid 11 hours of sleep a night, but I've never been to the ER before. Shocking, I know. Lets just say that all changed this past Sunday night. Let me start from the beginning.

Weekend started off great; with full sunshine and heat ahead, I was excited about some good biking out East and even more geeked about laying out on the white sand beaches that the Hamptons are famous for. I had a friends fancy road bike so I went to the local bike store Friday afternoon to pick up some nice clip-on bike shoes. I found a great pair with carbon (re: light) shoes and bargained down an extra 20 percent off the sale price. I got the unofficial "unemployment" discount. Saturday I pounded out a good 25 miles but wanted to take it easy. I figured I would wake up early on Sunday (re:10:30am) and bike out to East Hampton and back; a good 40 miles. With my buddy Paul doing a real early ride (re: 8:30), I was on my own.  I was all situated and ready to go. I took the bike out of the garage and I was deciding how I was going to hit the garage switch (it was by the entrance to the house, maybe like 15 feet) to close the garage door but also get out under the door before it crushes me. Of course I'm too lazy to walk through the house, but willing to ride 40 miles in 90 plus temperatures. Makes no sense, I know. So with these damn carbon soles plus the glossy hard concrete floor I was definitely doomed for disaster. I hit the switch and ran for the garage door. I made a sharp left turn around some boxes three feet before the garage door and there I went; falling directly on my left elbow. I make a Mission Impossible type spin on the ground so I wouldn't get crushed by the closing door. I kind of felt like Rose McGowan in Scream when she gets crushed by the garage door. Crickets?? Seriously, the pain I felt makes a colonoscopy seem like a walk in the park.

I'm sorry I don't have a crazy story for you all, like, I was dancing on the tabletops at Lily Pond with Ramona and fell in a drunken stupor. But always remember, "Hey, I'm Retired at 28!"