Central Park

One thing I don't get about New Yorkers is their fascination with Central Park. Prices of apartments are gaged by their proximity to the Park, people flock to Sheep's Meadow during the summer days and people flat out just can't get enough of this damn park. I thought New Yorkers liked the concrete jungle compared to the Central Park jungle. My theory on cities is if you want to throw the football you throw on the street, if you want to run, use the side of the road, and if you want to sun tan use the roof or the stoop. City people shouldn't flock to the Park that first day the temperature hits 65 degrees. I'll admit I do hang out there, but I wouldn't mind if they paved the whole thing over with tennis courts.

I was really bored Saturday night and I was staring at my new Nike kicks I just bought so I decided to take them for a run through the Park. And by run I mean a walk around the loop. Around 8pm it was as peaceful as can be. The continuous rain we got all week made the Park look plush and moist. I was actually surprised by the amount of people jogging the loop on a Saturday night. I guess these are the true New Yorkers. I started heading clockwise south at 72nd street. I was minding my own business listening to some Kid Cudi when I started noticing people looking at me weird and twirling their fingers at me. I just kind of gave them a polite smile and nod back. This happened a few more times and then I started to get scared. Not people of the dumb ass people looking at me but because I saw a huge raccoon staring me down literally five feet away. We locked eyes and I freaked. Luckily there was a Central Park Patrol officer on one of those dumb little carts and I flagged him down and explained the raccoon story. He laughed and said for me to get used to it, there are all types of animals in this park. What?! In the middle of New York there shouldn't be wild animals running around. After he reassured me the raccoon didn't have rabies he started to motor on his way. Just before he was out of ear shot he turned around and said that I was running the wrong direction also. Ahh makes sense now about the finger twirl. How pretentious these pompous New York runners are for noticing and commenting on the direction I'm running? I finished the six mile loop and went home in disgust.

I started to think, don't pave the park over with tennis courts I think shuffleboards would do the trick! Remember, "Hey, I'm Retired at 28!"